A beautiful DHSS fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside the Dover immigration offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in England with your wife and three children.'

The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING! -- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.'

The refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage in Wiltshire with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here..

' PING! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ , overlooking the river.

'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand. 'Yes, one more wish.

I want to be like an Englishman with designer clothes instead of manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Brits..

'PING! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Man U T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon..

'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'

The fairy said 'Tough luck, Now that you are a Brit, you have to fend for yourself.' And she disappeared!

Oh so true Colin.

Since joining the EU in 2004 the Czech government has been told by Brussels to tighten up the non EU border, and to be fair they are doing so with a vengence but many 'illegals' still get through.

Those that are caught are of course interviewed and asked why they wanted to get into the Czech Republic, allegedly 90% of them say they don't want to stay here, they were planning on moving on.

I'll leave you to guess where they were planning on moving on too

As I said before there's much that doesn't work well here but I must say that the border guards do quite a good job.

I put this down to two reasons:-

1) For 45 years they were desperate to keep people INSIDE the country and they became quite good at it, using heavy manpower and regular patrols with GSD's along barbed wire fences.

2) All those border guards who were effectively made redundant in 2004 are now employed in checking traffic comming from the East (Russia & Ukraine) via Poland and Slovakia

And as you correctly said, it should be easy peasy for the UK authorities 'cos they have a pretty big bl**dy chunk of water protecting their shores, they don't have to put up barbeed wire fences and employ tens of thousands with GSD's every inch of the border do they